Memorial for Zeny Cenzon: My Mom: As a Woman

Ma was born in Baguio in 1947 and grew up there. You'd think she'd be Ilocano, but she's actually Kapampangan.

Zeny in Aurora Hill

Born to Illuminado Cenzon and Barbara Joaquin on August 2, 1947, she was the 8th child and the youngest daughter in a brood of 10! Her siblings were Nads (RIP), Leony (RIP), Nining, Perla, Bishop Carlito Cenzon, Roger (RIP), Ed, Larry & Raffy.

She studied at St. Louis University, Baguio but she never finished college cause my very handsome Dad swept her off her feet, they got married, she went to Manila to start her married life and had me.

When I was 3 or 4, she and dad separated. Their life together resulted in myself and my brother Norman. She raised us on her own since then. As far back as i can remember, she was always busy with something, trying to get my brother and I through school.

With Husband, Rey Ramos

Married Life at Sisa

Being the only one in her family who was separated, she took some judgement from her family for that. But Mama didn't let that get to her, although I remember that there were times she cried to Lola about it. She just did what she can to make ends meet. What I remember about her the most is that... she was relentless... and very giving.

Zeny at her prime with Me and brother Norman

There were phases in her life when we were very comfortable. I remember always having a yaya around during our younger years.. She drove a Celeste and we tagged along with her wherever she went. She loved driving out of town. I got that from her. :)

She met her 2nd husband, Kuya Lito, and they were together until she passed away. From their union, I have 3 wonderful brothers and sister - Yahyie, Candy and Emman. I raised them when they were babies and we are all very close.

Zeny with Yahyie, Candy and Emman

Ma was very close to her mother, Lola Barang. She was her source of strength - just like she was to me. Even though she was unable to support Lola's financial needs, she was there to give of herself. She took care of her mother, much more than I took care of her. My brother Emman is more like her, very giving of his personal time and effort.

With Lola Barang

In Baguio

In the years before Lola Barang passed away, she lived with Ma and she cared for Lola until her last breath. In the little house in Quintos which my brother Norman built for them. When Lola passed away, i'm sure she was devastated. Lola was her rock. I'm just sorry that I didn't understand the feeling back then. I was absorbed with myself at that time and wasn't there to comfort her.

Ma, was a great cook! Just like Lola was. Her having diabetes was really a problem cause she loved to eat and feed people. Selfish is not one of her traits - even though she didn't have much - especially when it came to food. She'll take the time to listen to people's problems and lend them money when she has some. That's to other people. To us her kids, and to her grandchildren, she will borrow money if she has to, so she has something to give us. She will give us the clothes off her back.

To her brothers and sisters, she was always there to assist them when they're in the Philippines. Even when she was already sick and had a hard time walking, she was there for them. I constantly nagged her about it. But, that's just the way she is....

Her life cannot be summarized in a few words... But when I think of Ma, this is what I remember. She never gave up. She climbed the mountains that mattered. She gave herself to us, her children. She believed in us even when there was no reason to. She loved and was loved by those she helped.

She's not perfect. She can be scathy and sarcastic if she was not in the mood. (hmm.. that sounds like me too) But she had the uncanny ability to find humor even in the midst of difficulty. She was funny and very sweet. She loved to mother. Doing our homework, accompanying us on field trips, attending programs at school. She'd rather be with us than anywhere else.. I don't ever remember her partying and leaving us behind. If she had to party or be elsewhere, there we were tied to her skirts :)

Those are my memories of Ma. But the memory that I'm most grateful for is how she never turned her back on us when we needed her. No matter what we did. Sure she'd be angry and hurt but, she was there. That made a lot of difference in my life.

We tend to put our parents on pedestals and we don't realize until we're older that they are just like you and me. They have strengths and weaknesses and they're just doing their best to give us good lives and be happy in their own personal lives too.

I miss her so much. If I will have the chance to choose a mother in another life, I would choose her again. Next time around, i'll be a good little girl and give her the easy life she never had in this one. We have unfinished business. I owe her one, and will do anything to pay her back a thousand-fold.

She often told us that we her children and her grandchildren were her blessings. I hope we made her happy. I hope somehow we made all her struggles worthwhile.

Mommy was a beautiful woman who was crowned Ms. Benguet Lily in her day - who believed deeply in God and hoped and dreamed and loved with all her heart. We are better people because of her.

Thank you Ma.